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The Mother of All Weeks: Cambodia

Posted by Andrea on (Updated: )  |  Leave a comment

In honor of Mother’s Day we are having a week dedicated to moms around the globe. I asked some of our team to choose mothers in their community and find out more about them.

Callie, Toung, Couper, Kai-o, Sray Nut and Mom at Angkor Wat
Callie, Toung, Couper, Kai-o, Sray Nut and Mom at Angkor Wat

To start it off in Cambodia I chose Kai-o and Toung because they are the second mothers for my children and I am for theirs. When we first moved to Cambodia Kai-o was the first person we hired. She started out as a very shy housekeeper and has now become one of my best friends. Toung was our first cook and despite being tiny, she makes some of the most amazing food in Cambodia. Over the last six years Kai-O, Toung and I have all had kids and they are all growing up and going to school together. Kai-o is the nanny for my kids and Toung is still our cook, but they have taken on roles well beyond this, they are really part of our family. I interviewed them for our Mother Of All Weeks to find out what being a mom means to them.

Kai-o

Hometown: Damdeik, Cambodia

Age: 28

Married: 2006

Kids: one girl, Sabai (named by me, it means happy), she’s 2-years-old, two weeks older than Couper.

Kai-o and Sabai
Kai-o and Sabai

How many kids did your mom have?

My mom had 18 kids. (I had Nary translate because I thought my Khmer was bad, but no, my Khmer was right-on, her mom delivered 18 children.)

How many do you want to have?

I would like to have three kids, but I want a break between them so they can help me take care of each other.

What is your favorite thing about being a mom?

When Sabai is happy, I’m happy. I can’t imagine not being a mom. Once you have a husband, then you become a mom, if I wasn’t a mom then I wouldn’t have anything.

What is the hardest thing about being a mom?

When Sabai cries and I can’t get her to stop, it’s hard to see her sad and it’s boring when she’s just grumpy and I can’t make her happy.

What piece of advice did your mom give you that helped the most?

She told me to always love Sabai more than anything else. That if I did everything for Sabai I would be happy.

What is the most important advice you will or have given your kids?

I would tell Sabai to listen to the people older than her and get good ideas from them and also to study hard.

What are your dreams for Sabai, what do you hope for her?

I hope she can work in the office. I don’t want her to have to work like me and be the cleaner, it makes your knees hurt. I want her to be able to have an important job in an office.

Why Kai-o is a mom I admire: Kai-o has a cleft pallet so she has a severe speech impediment, we tried to get it fixed, but she’s too old to get the operation. Because of her speech Kai-o was never allowed to go to school so she can’t read or write. Despite having no formal education Kai-o is one of the most perceptive and smart people I know.You only have to show Kai-o how to do something once and she remembers, she has learned an incredible amount of English in the 6 years I’ve known her and she takes such joy in life. If there is no one I enjoy watching my kids with more than Kai-o, she is always equally amused by them and she just “gets them”. I see her with Sabai and I know she works as hard as she does because she wants as much for Sabai as possible. There is no one I would rather have helping me raise my kids than Kai-o.

Toung
Hometown: Pua, Cambodia

Age: 28
Married: 2003
Kids: one girl, Sray Nut, aged 5 and one boy, David, aged 2

Toung holding Sray Nut
Toung holding Sray Nut

How many kids did your mom have?

Six kids, including me.

How many do you want to have?

I don’t know, maybe 3 or 4.

What is your favorite thing about being a mom?

I like to have a younger generation that can grow up and help keep the family. They will grow up and help me and they are the next generation in Cambodia.

What is the hardest thing about being a mom?

When they don’t listen to me I find it so frustrating.

What piece of advice did your mom give you that helped the most?

My mom told me to get on well with my husband and to work hard so my kids can go to school.

What is the most important advice you will or have given your kids?

They need to listen to me!

What are your dreams for Sray Nut and David, what do you hope for her?

I want them to work in an office. I hope they are smart enough to go through school and work in an office.

Why Toung is a mom I admire: Toung is no-nonsense. In fact, everyone in our house is scared of her because she can be pretty tough. Despite being the “tough-mom”, I know that Toung loves her kids and wants what’s best for them. She does Sray Nut’s hair every morning and always has her in clean clothes. A lot of Cambodians let kids get away with everything, but Toung likes kids to behave and I like that. She is always willing to play with my kids, do their hair, get them something to eat and just be there for them. When we first told Toung we would pay for Sray Nut to go to school she cried she was so happy, she may be tough on the outside, but on the inside she has a huge heart.… Read more »

Passport Trivia

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couper-and-his-passport

Have you seen the new US passport? Couper has one and it’s pretty fancy. On our drive from the Thailand/Cambodia border to our home in Siem Reap we were starting to get a little travel weary so we started looking through Couper’s passport. On each page they have included quotes as well as images from across the US. You can read the quotes below and then see my questions and a fun contest at the bottom:

“…And that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” Abraham Lincoln

Accompanied by an image of some sailors…or could be the Boston Tea Party…or could be some Revolutionary War Soldiers, hard to tell.

“The principle of free governments adheres to the American soil. It is bedded in it, immovable as its mountains.” Daniel Webster
Accompanied by photos of a majestic looking mountain range and a lake.

“Let us raise a standard to which the wise and honest can repair.” George Washington
Accompanied by one photo I can’t see (Cambodian visa over it) and one photo of a beautiful colonial building.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, that they are empowered by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Declaration of Independence
Accompanied by a photo of the ocean I think (covered by a Cambodia and a Laos visa)

“We have a great dream. It started way back in 1776, and God grant that America will be true to her dream.” Martin Luther King
Accompanied by an eagle with a backdrop of mountains I think (mountains covered by Vietnam visa)

“Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and success of liberty.” John F. Kennedy
Accompanied by an image of Mount Rushmore (or in this case half of Mt Rushmore and a Cambodia visa)

“This is a nation, based on a mighty continent, of boundless possibilities.” Theodore Roosevelt
Accompanied by a lake with rolling hills in the background

“Whatever America hopes to bring to pass in the world must first come to pass in the heart of America.” Dwight D. Eisenhower
Accompanied by a closeup of wheat with farmland behind.

“For this is what America is all about. It is the uncrossed desert and the unclimbed ridge. It is the star that is not reached and the harvest sleeping in the unplowed ground. Is our world gone? We say ‘Farewell.’ Is a new world coming? We welcome it – and we will bend it to the hopes of man.” Lyndon B. Johnson
Accompanied by a photo of cowboys and longhorn cattle (so glad no visas on this page, the cows took up a good 10 minutes of study during the car ride)

“May God continue the unity of our country as the railroad unites the two great oceans of the world.” inscribed on the Golden spike, Promontory Point, 1869
Accompanied by a photo of a beautiful train with rolling hills and a bridge in the background. (Again, thank you for just stamps, no visas, trains are cool)

“We send thanks to all the Animal life in the world. They have many things to teach us as people. We are glad they are still here and we hope it will always be so.” Excerpt from the Thanksgiving Address, Mohawk version.
Accompanied by a lake with Pine Trees in the background and a totem pole on the right.

“The cause for freedom is not the cause of a race or a sect, a party or a class – it is the cause of humankind, the very birthright of humanity.” Anna Julia Cooper
Accompanied by an image of the Statue of Liberty.

“Every generation has the obligation to free men’s minds for a look at new worlds…to look out from a higher plateau than the last generation.” Ellison S Onizaka
Accompanied by an image of the moon and a satellite.

So here are my questions and the person with the best answers will win a Nikaya Neary Scarf so add your answers in the comments section below for a chance to win.

Question 1: Who decided on these quotes and images?!? Was it a committee? Did they poll the public? Who was in charge?

Question 2: Which is your favorite quote? and Why? (mine is Eisenhower’s, I would like to send it to Bush.)

Question 3: Are these really the best quotes for a passport? Who are they for? Us the passport holder or is it for the bored immigration officer at the border deciding whether to let us enter??

Question 4: They didn’t capitalize ‘inscribed’ is that a typo (they did capitalize ‘Excerpt’) If it is a typo, who do I inform!?!?

Question 5: What is the other version of the Thanksgiving address!?!? Perhaps: “Animals are good eatin’.” The Pilgrims

I will announce the winner next week so get your comments in. Good luck and Godspeed!… Read more »

KFC = Kentucky Fried Cambodia!?

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dscn0706

The colonel has come to Cambodia. That’s right, you can see Angkor Wat in the morning and have a KFC Zinger Burger with a side of fries in the afternoon. I’m not sure how I do or should feel about KFC being here. The truth is I’m mixed. When we first moved here there wasn’t even a mini-mart, let alone fast food options and I liked that we really were living in a very basic town that was always an adventure. But…at the same time, Popcorn Chicken is so delicious!

The first time the idea of progress really made an impact on me was when Brandon and I were staying at a longhouse in Borneo with a local community. It was a homestay setup and we were there with a group of travelers. The concept of a longhouse is fantastic, they have one long living room and balcony and then each family has their own sleeping area and kitchen built off the back of the long living room. The chief of the village had shown us some heads that still hung from the rafters, prizes from the days of his great-great- (used in reference to generation, not quality of profession) grandfathers head hunting days. We were then invited to visit the living quarters of one of our guides. In it Brandon was thrilled to see a satellite TV, DVD player and PlayStation…keep in mind we were a five-hour boat ride from the nearest road, let alone the nearest town, but there it was.

The British couple immediately lamented the loss of culture and the horrible influence the West is having on Borneo and these people. Brandon, as always lacking a certain amount of tact, asked them if they still used latrines and how their local playhouse was doing. His point was that the West and developed countries are always pushing for development, things that not just make our life better, but just more fun, yet we frown upon “indigenous cultures” doing the same thing. Who’s to say that the people in this longhouse shouldn’t enjoy some Madden and Friday night movie night…I’m sure none of my ancestors did, yet I don’t think anyone begrudges me that right.

From that day on I have looked at development slightly differently. Last night in KFC we were the only foreigners, everyone else enjoying dinner was Cambodian and who am I to say that I have the right to enjoy the Colonel’s secret recipe and they don’t. They also have a team of young adults working behind the counter who, fingers crossed on this one, have gone through a great hygiene training and are now able to get a job that supports them and their family and allows them to be in a safe and empowering workplace. Yes, for Cambodians that think everything from the West is good there needs to be education about nutrition and the value of tradition and culture, but maybe there’s also room for a little Popcorn Chicken and some PlayStation.

That little face makes the whole debate mute
That little face makes the whole debate mute
She did her hair especially for the outing
She did her hair especially for the outing
… Read more »

Toothpaste Asia Style

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Brandon and I went to Lucky Market today to pick up some groceries, including toothpaste. We were going to go with good-old Colgate Whitening because that’s what we always get when this little gem caught our eye…

dentist-like

It may be hard to read, but what it says is, “New! With a “Dentist-Like”*** Ingredient For Smooth and Polished Teeth. ” Ummm, what the hell is a Dentist-Like Ingredient?

Brandon wondered if there was a cleaner pick included, I wondered if it included that awful paste stuff that always makes me gag. Our guest asked if we thought it was similar to ground up dentist!

To find out we followed the ***. Sure enough on the back it clarified: ***”Ingredient with the same properties like dentist uses”

toothpaste1

Well heck, how could we pass that up! It was a bargain because not only do we have toothpaste with a “Dentist-Like” ingredient, but we have the box to show everyone!… Read more »

Do you sing?

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This is Callie, she is three and precocious, she has been around the block world a few times and she isn’t afraid to speak her mind…in multiple languages.

callie

Sometimes though, being three and all, things can be confusing. Here was her enlightenment (pun intended) today.

One of my scholarship student mentees is a monk and he came for his mentoring session today, in the middle of our chat Callie wandered by, totally naked from her afternoon swim.To be fair to her she did wei to the monk and very politely say “Joom Reap Sure”, the monk replied and wei’d and I guess Callie thought she was in…

“You’re a monk, not a chipmunk, a chipmunk is an animal and they sing. Do you sing?”

alvin

My student was a bit taken aback by a naked three-year-old discussing his singing ability, but he did nicely respond that monks don’t sing, I added that we do hear them chanting to Buddha sometimes.

“Ohhh,” said Callie, “I give Buddha the high-five.”

While it may sound like the newest thing in religious lingo, ohh, Jesus, yea, he gets a high five. Callie however was not being philosophical, but rather meant that on her way up to bed she likes to high-five the Buddha in our lobby.

high-five-to-buddhaEveryday’s an adventure.… Read more »